- Morning, Oscar. - Morning, Miss Albright.
Finding a cab may take a while in this mess. No umbrella?
Really think I need one?
Guess not.
Thanks. Have a good one.
Oh.
Nice. Bye.
First stop, 66th and Broadway.
I need to be there in four minutes, please.
Oh, yeah. That's gonna happen.
Hi. Dana?
WNYH. You're caller seven. Can you name our mystery song?
Oops. I did it again. Sorry.
That's right! You win!
Oh, that's like five greens in a row.
The force is strong this morning, boy.
Dana, it looks like I'm running a little early.
So I'm gonna make a stop at Balducci's. Muffin?
I am the master of my universe. Positive energy, positive results.
Oh, perfect. Taking the dog for a walk.
Good morning, Mr. Phillips. I want to introduce you to the hottest band in New York City.
Magic time.
Oh, perfect!
Huh. Find a penny-
Uh, Mr. Phillips? Excuse me?
Here we go. Lift.
Good. Walk it around.
Bring it around. Bring it around.
That's it.
- Hey, hold it, please. - Oh.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
Come on, baby.
Baby made a poo-poo!
Now, let's go.
Baby, your poo-poo's costing me.
Happy?
- Hi. Good morning. - Mm-hmm.
Sweet.
Oh, my gosh! Are you okay?
- What are you doing? Get off! - I'm sorry. Are you o-
Look, I'm- Let me help you up. Stop hitting me!
- Let me help you up! It was an accident! - Oh, my God! Help!
- Hey, you! Don't move! - This is not-
- Help! Help! - This is not- not good. Not good.
- Somebody! - Stay there!
- Let me help you up! Come on! - Get that thing near me, and I'll smack it!
I need backup! 288 in the park! Hey, you! Stay there!
- I'll get you! - The button popped!
Green jacket, skull cap. Pursuing on foot.
We're making music here. We're not making chicken.
Well, get it done. We need this done.
Sir, excuse me! Good morning, Mr. Phillips!
- I have a brand-new- - Got you!
- Mr. Phillips! - Give me your arm, pervert!
- Take a quick listen! - You smell like dog crap!
Officer, could you take me to the 36th Precinct?
They're nice to me there.
You promise? 6:00?
Okay. I'll be the redhead who looks like this.
In that case, I'll be there at 5:30.
Okay.
Morning, Maggie.
Oh, what are you so chipper about?
Brad Pitt and Jude Law had a baby...
and I just met him in the elevator.
Braden & Company. Can I help you?
Somebody ordered Balducci's.
Oh, yum. Excuse me.
What's happening on this body? Is this a new coat?
Yeah. Can you believe it? Sample sale. Fifty percent off.
- Ohh. - And her coat met someone.
David Pennington. Owner of the Boston Celtics David Pennington?
No, silly. It's his son.
Impressive. But I, too, had a really great morning.
Apparently, Saturn is in line with Neptune.
Dana, you know those things aren't exactly factual, right?
Ooh! Ooh! And my new song got a really polite rejection letter...
from Two Tone Records.
But you know what they say: One door closes, and two doors open.
Speaking of doors, uh, the Phillips meeting- When is it?
Now.
All right, I've gotta go take notes.
- Okay. - I will see you guys after.
- Bye. Can I have one of those? - Do you want the bran?
Where is everybody?
Look, our SoundScans last week were 470,000.
That's why we de-Yes, we deserve to be at the front of the store.
Look, you tell him because I said so.
You tell him Damon Phillips said so. I'm hanging up now.
I thought we had a meeting.
Oh, they should be here soon. If you'd care to-
Wait? This is a big insult. D. Doesn't wait for anybody.
Yeah, that's right. No one. Okay?
And he is furious. Ain't that right?
It's true. I'm furious.
They should be here at any second. I promise.
- Are you kidding me, people! Sara! Sara, do something!
Oh, look! I just got an I.M. From Miss Braden.
And it says she's doing some final touches...
on an extra special presentation for you, and she'll be right here.
Right.
Do you know how much Downtown Masquerade Records made last year?
Yes. 507 million, gross.
Therefore, you know how much each and every minute of my time is worth.
$964.
Damn, that's a lot of money. I didn't expect that.
Yeah, and that includes the time that you're sleeping.
So even when I go poo-poo, I'm makin' money?
- That's some expensive shit. - Damn skippy.
So you see why I can't afford to waste any time.
And this is wasted time!
I completely understand that. If you could just give me a moment, then I will start.
Please. If it's not worth the minute, then I will give you $965.
Hmm.
Because personally I think you're underpaid.
Hope you have your checkbook.
- They brought him into custody. - Charlie caught the case?
- Yeah. - Charlie's crazy, you know.
- Oh, I can't believe it's raining again. - Oh. Yeah.
Let me out! Let me out first!
- Sara! - Yes, uh, Miss-
Right. No. Of course.
Wha- Right.
Damon. Damon, I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.
Uh-huh.
With cheese. Okay.
I just need to get the files, and we can start the presentation-
- No, no. We're done. - Damon, please. The elevator was stuck.
What are you talking about? Miss Albright just pitched me your entire P.R. Strategy.
It's brilliant. Especially the part about the party.
Oh. A p-party?
Yeah, the masquerade bash thing. I love it.
- Oh, you-you like that? - Yeah.
It's a great way to showcase our talent and get a tax write-off and support a good cause.
And you know I can never say no... to a party.
What you say. What you say. What you say.
Me too. I love to par-tay.
Don't do that.
Got you covered, Mr. D. Your car is right this way.
Masquerade bash?
Uh, I'm really sorry, Miss Braden. I just-
I took notes at other meetings, and then I just improvised from there.
Well, looks like you've got a big party to plan.
Right. Right. Yeah.
Of course, you'll need your own office.
- Wh- Me? - Your idea. You're in charge. Sara?
- Huh? - Find Ashley a new office...
- and get her a company credit card. - Thank you, Miss Braden.
Oh, please, Ashley. From now on, it's Peggy.
- Peggy. - Peggy.
And you are?
- Mail. - Whatever.
And don't worry, Ashley. I'll be watching your every move.
- Sara. - Yes, ma'am?
Katy, I'm home.
Oh, hey, Jake.
Hey. Wow. What happened to you?
- Fourth-grade boys. - They're the worst, aren't they? Let me see.
- What's it stuck on with? - Krazy Glue.
Huh, been there. At least you had a better day than me.
- Burger? - Of course. Ketchup for you.
- Katy, where's my bun? - Oh, it's in the oven, Grandma.
- She's got a bun in the oven? - Hey, Jake.
- Hey, Aunt Martha. - Now, Katy...
I'll be back after my shift at midnight.
Cool.
Stay out of trouble.
- Love you, Jake. - Love you too.
- Katy, mind your cousin. - I'll keep an eye on her.
- See ya. - Ready?
Wait. Is it gonna sting? 'Cause I kind of like wearing it.
Well, it's not gonna sting if you hold still.
- Ow. Ow. Ow. - Hold still! It's gonna be fine!
Hold still. One, two, three-
There you go. There you go. Well, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. All right.
- What do you say? - Thank you, Jake. You're my hero.
Give me some skin. You know, I'm gonna take this.
This is definitely a, uh, choking hazard.
- All right. - Bye.
See ya.
Not again! Oh!
So, where is he taking you?
A basketball game. His dad's team is playing Philly.
Not sexy enough. Home or away?
- Away. - Let me guess.
On his private jet which he flies himself?
- So wrong. He has a pilot. - Speaking of dates. Hello?
We should try to find the dragon lady one for the bash.
That way, she won't be all over us, watching our every move.
Mm. Good luck. Men of Peggy's caliber don't exactly take ads in the Yellow Pages.
Could you possibly idolize her any more?
What? She's sophisticated, glamorous, gets invited everywhere...
and never has to stay home because she has nothing to wear.
- Right. Nothing to wear. - Wee, wee, wee.
- Coming! - I'll get it.
- I'm coming. - I'm coming!
- Find an outfit. - I found one.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh. - Whoa. Who is that?
Down, girl. You're drooling on my doormat. Oh, it's my next-door neighbor.
- Who? - Shh. Antonio.
- Oh, hey, Ashley. - Hey.
Your dry cleaning was delivered while you were out, so I took it.
Oh, you are such an angel. Thank you.
- I do what I can. Big date tonight? - Kind of big. You?
Ah, every night is date night.
- Okay, I'll see you then. - Thanks.
- Bye. - Oh, hey, Antonio.
Are you free next Thursday?
I'm never free. What do you have in mind?
Well, you won't want to miss this.
Masquerade Records is throwing an outrageous promo party.
Food, fun, dancing... and a blind date with my boss.
Your boss? What's she like?
She's very smart, strong, an independent woman.
- Is she good-looking? - Of course.
Okay, look, if you think we'll hit it off, then that's good enough for me.
Oh, you're the best. Thank you so much. Bye.
- Bye. - Oh, yes! A date for the dragon lady.
- Yes! - You know, this isn't mine.
Whose is it?
Oh! Sarah Jessica Parker's.
- What? - Not kidding.
I did not know Sarah Jessica Parker lived in your building.
Oh, my God. And look, it's Dolce.
Oh, my gosh. I can return it tomorrow.
Let me look. Oh, yes.
Your size. What are the odds?
- Don't be jealous. - You know, this might actually look cute on me.
- You should totally wear it tonight. - Well, of course.
- Yeah, I'm gonna need some chocolate now. - I'm gonna need some milk.
I'm gonna go try on the dress.
Thanks.
Ay, ay! Asshole!
- Hey, watch it, will ya!
Sorry. Sorry. It's okay.
Yo, one, two, check. Sound check.
- Hey, Jake. - Hey, Mac.
Hey, hey! Hey, Jake!
Jake, how'd it go?
So, uh- So you got Phillips the CD?
Uh, not ex- not exactly.
You know, we just had some scheduling conflicts we had to deal with.
Jake, this has been going on for weeks.
Guys, we're right on track. Trust me.
There are even gonna be a couple of "A" and "R" guys here tonight.
Hey, Jake. There's a clogged toilet in the men's room.
Uh, and I'm looking forward to plunging it, Mac...
but not until my shift starts, which is in two hours.
Pretend it's a Grammy.
Grammy? Grammy it is. Okay.
So I'm gonna take care of this. Keep up the energy.
Hit that "G," Tom. We're gonna have a great show tonight, guys.
- Here we go. - Thank you.
I thought we were taking a jet.
This takes us to the jet.
Oh, wow. This is definitely going in my diary.
Good evening, Bayonne. Ashley, where did you get that gorgeous dress?
Don't ask.
- Hi. How are ya? - Hi.
Guys, you're on.
Gentlemen, enjoy the show. Cocktails on us.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the hottest rock band in New York City!
McFly!
Keep on going. I got it.
- Oh! - Let's get out of here.
Hey, fellas, come on.
You're firing me? You don't even pay me.
Look, Jake, you're good. I mean, you did find us.
- It's just- - But? What's the but?
But we just think it's time to go home.
No, you can't go back home. We're this close, guys.
Jake, we haven't had any lucky breaks over here.
And poor Doug misses his mum. Yeah, he does. He cries every night.
One week. How's that?
How's that? You give me one week.
And if I can't make it happen for you guys by then, then I get it.
We're done. You can go back home. No hard feelings. One week.
- Okay. One week. - One week.
- All right!
- Get some rest, guys. - Mum's gonna have to wait one more week, Doug.
One week.
So, did you?
Okay, David Pennington is a gentleman.
- We kissed. - Boring.
- Check please, Zuki. - Okay.
- Thank you. - So, was it a, um, normal kiss...
or was it a supernatural, tingling in your toes...
butterflies in your tummy sort of kiss?
It was... enough to get him to ask me on another date.
Mm!
- Thank you. - No, no, no, no. Uh-uh.
Uh-W-Wait. What's that?
Senor Platinum says lunch is on him.
- I can't stand this. - What?
Now, on top of everything else, Peggy Braden has given you worldwide buying power?
Okay, there's positive energy, and then there's just plain dumb luck.
Here we go again. Maggie, you've known me since seventh grade, right?
Okay, will you please tell her that I'm not lucky?
Well, you were voted prom queen at Franklin High.
- So? - We went to Jefferson.
- That doesn't mean anything. - Okay.
- What? Are you kidding me? - Thank you, Ashley.
- Thank you. - Thank you, Ashley.
- But face it, babe...
when they whacked you with that lucky stick, they whacked you good.
You guys are silly.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Okay. All right. If you don't think you have the luck gene...
then you wouldn't mind taking a little test.
- Test? - Yeah.
Test? Cool. What kind of test?
- Ooh, sorry. - Excusez-moi.
- Hi. One scratcher, please. - Oh!
- What kind? - You wanna pick?
- This is not a fair test. I happen to be good at these. - The green one.
It's a lottery. Nobody's good at them.
- Dollar. - Thank you.
- Guys- - Come on!
I mean, seriously, this is silly.
- Do it. Do it. Do it. - Fine. No peeking.
- Why? - It's my scratcher now.
What'd you get? What'd you get? What'd you get?
Five, 10, 15. I told you I was good at these.
You are the luckiest person in the world.
How do you do it, Ash? How do you do it?
I told you. You just scratch the silver boxes.
Scratch? You just scratch? I could kill you!
Hey, watch it. I can't afford to be injured. I've got a major event to plan.
And we have a walk-through downtown with Peggy in 10 minutes.
Taxi! We have to pick up the presentation boards. We're never gonna make it.
Negativity. That's your problem.
- That's true. Bye, sweets! - Make mama proud!
- Of course. Love you. - Au revoir!
- How you feeling? - Nervous.
- She's gonna love it. - Okay.
- How about right here? - Yeah.
- This place is amazing! - Quick. She's ready.
- Hi, Miss Braden. - Uh!
Sorry. Peggy. So, are you ready to be impressed?
- I'm ready to have questions. - Of course. I would hope so.
Okay, so we're going for a carnival-like atmosphere.
We'll have an upscale mixture of V.I.P.'s, celebs...
and record industry insiders.
Only, everyone will wear masks.
Interesting.
We'll have a deejay, circus performers...
fortune-tellers, atmosphere smoke and neon.
Over here will be the V.I.P. Area.
We'll have champagne- only the best.
Dom Pérignon served by waiters on stilts.
And then a stage with Masquerade's latest videos and professional dancers.
And over there, little alcoves...
with couches and with drapes to give people privacy.
Overhead, sky dancers.
You know, I want people to feel like anything can happen here.
It's gonna be a magical night.
- The hired dancers? - Are doing their thing.
- And Phillips? - Is happy and is going up in five.
Peggy, I've got it covered.
See that you do, my dear.
Oh, thank God.
Thank you so much. I owe you big time.
So, which one is she?
Oh, she's the tall blonde one, near the fortune-teller.
- Ah, very nice. - Yeah, she's a little high-strung.
No problem.
It is gonna cost you extra.
You're terrible. But a doll.
Now go. I have work to do.
So do I.
- Got another freeloader. - What? No, no, no.
If they're not on the list, they cannot get in. No exceptions.
I'm on the list. "Plus one."
I'm on the list. It's the jacket!
- Hey, look this way! - Ow! My foot!
- Sorry. They threw me. - What a loser!
Of course I'm all right.
Just get the next one.
Yeah, I got these.
Uh, mm, is this the Masquerade bash?
- Are you Ronald? - Uh, yeah. Yeah.
- Th-That's me. Ronald. - You're late.
- Dancers change in Room 5. - Okay.
So go on.
Up to Room 5. Hope these clothes fit.
Just as I thought. The Lovers.
Oh, fantastic!
- See, I told you, baby. - Ashley!
Antonio. Peggy.
You two look like you're hitting it off.
Yes, we really are. Thanks for hooking us up.
- You set us up? - Guilty as charged.
Well, thank you. He is adorable.
Oh, my pleasure. You two look made for each other.
That's what Madame Z just said.
- Did she? - The Lovers.
Come on, baby. Let's... dance.
Whoa.
Keep up the good work, Z.
You, come. Don't you want Madame Z to tell you what's in the cards for you?
- No, it's okay. Save it for the guests. - Ah, a skeptic.
No, it's just, how many times can you hear, "You'll meet a handsome stranger"?
Hello? It's called a Tuesday.
What? You think that good fortune is normal?
Just as I suspected.
What? What'd it say? Am I gonna win a cruise?
'Cause lately I've been having that cruise-winning feeling.
Not exactly. It says that good luck has always spun your way.
Uh-oh. Be careful.
This card, the Wheel of Fortune, it is upside down.
That means the wheel may be spinning back.
Right. Yeah. I don't really have time for the whole spinning wheel thing.
I have 500 guests and a broken bubble cannon to attend to.
- So go. - Well, keep up the good work. People are loving it, Z.
Holy crap.
Yeah! Yeah!
Aren't they fantastic?
Now hear this!
- Now hear this! - Now hear this!
Are you guys having a good time?
- Do you like the music? - I love the music!
I said do you like the music?
Ain't nothin' like a Damon party!
And I want to thank you for comin' out and supporting the Second Street Shelter.
As of right now...
we've raised $270,000!
Give yourselves a round of applause.
That's a lot of money! It's not enough.
I promise you, if you dig deep...
and show me some money, I'll show you a good time.
Music!
Hit it! Come on! Oh!
Wha- Wha- Ooh, ooh!
Ooh, ooh! Damn I'm good!
No, no, no, no, no.
- Where's the bubbly? Let's party, yo. - Mr. Phillips? Excuse me!
Hey. I'm gonna see you at church.
What's up, man?
Hey, hey. The dancers are supposed to be on the dance floor.
- And the dance floor is that way. - Uh, right. Sure.
I just-
I was just about to ask this lovely lady to dance.
- Oh! - Oh, sucking up to the boss, huh?
The bo- Sorry.
You should go dance. Go dance with him.
- Come on. You're earned it. This party's amazing. - He's kinda cute.
You know what? I will. I deserve to have a little fun tonight.
Ooh. Bye!
Can I go dance? I wanna go dance. Can I go dance?
- Please. - Fine. Go, go, go. Play. Play.
- Hey, watch it, jerk! - Sorry.
- I'm sorry. - No. No. Don't- Don't be sorry.
I- I, uh-
What? I can't hear you. It's too loud in here. Let me step outside.
- I have to go. - What? Wait.
Look, I have to take care of one thing, but I promise I'll be right back.
- But- - Just stay where you are. All right?
Okay.
Ashley, who was that?
Um, I honestly don't know.
You were just kissing that guy you honestly don't know?
Yeah. Yeah. Oh!
- What? - My shoe.
Oh, my God.
- What? - My dress.
- My dress! - At least you're wearing underwear.
That- That's what I'm trying to tell you. This is the biggest party.
- Mr. Phillips? Excuse me. - No, no, no, no.
The big-This is the biggest party. Yes, we're throwin'-
Right. Hey!
- The kid! The kid! - The guy cut me off! Somebody call 911!
- Unbelievable! - Are you all right?
- Uh, uh. No. No, I'm okay. - No, no, no.
- I'm okay. I'm okay. - Somebody get an ambulance.
- Uh, no, really. I'm fine. - Let me help you, man.
- I'm not hurt. Mr. Phillips. - You're the luckiest son of a gun I've ever seen!
Mr. Phillips, you okay? You all right?
I'm better than okay, man. I'm alive!
- You saved my life, Spider-Man. - It was nothing, really.
There's gotta be a way I can repay you.
I'm just glad you're okay.
There's gotta be something I can do for you.
Um, okay. You know what? I don't want to put you out or anything...
but this band is exactly what you're looking for.
- They're the hottest band in New York City. - It's done.
- If you just-What did you say? - I said it's done.
- You bring, um- McFly, right? - Yeah.
Bring McFly by the office, and we'll have a listen.
Okay.
- Say, kid, what's your name? - Jake. Jake Hardin.
Jake Hardin, Damon Phillips owes you big.
Yeah, I'm still here. This kid saved my life, man.
Is it me, or did I just get lucky?
She's choking! Breathe, Ashley! Puke- Puke it up!
- Move it! Get out of my way! - She's choking!
- Here! Let me help. - She's red!
- Here. - Somebody help-
- One more time.
- What was that? - An olive.
Ash, Ash, look!
- No, I did not! Not me! - Is she getting arrested?
- It's her! Her! - Who?
Are they pointing at me? They're pointing at me.
Come on. Let's get her.
Excuse me.
- They're coming over here. - Oh, okay.
Move it! Move it! Out of the way! Out of the way!
- Ashley Albright? - I'm afraid to say yes.
You're under arrest.
Is this about Sarah Jessica Parker's dress?
Wait. I mean, no- I'm gonna give it back!
Wait. I obey the law. I like the law.
It's been a great night. I almost got hit by a car.
- And I would- - Step aside, sir.
Hey, what the hell's going on?
I mean, hello? Sex and the City?
Sarah Jessica Parker has so many dresses.
That was so last season. Is she really gonna miss it?
You're a prostitute?
An escort. I thought you knew.
I have never been so humiliated.
- Peggy, I- - Thanks to you and your little alcoves.
"I want people to feel like anything can happen here."
Oh.
- Oh. - What are you grinning about?
- I know what's going on here. - What?
- Where do you think he is? - Where do I think who is?
Shh. The host.
- The host of what? - Of this reality show.
Okay, I've figured it out.
You guys can come out and tell me that I've won now.
- Are you insane? - Hey, keep it down in there!
Did David Pennington put you up to this?
- Huh? Did he? - That's my seat.
I thought this was festival seating.
- Huh? - This is real life, Ashley.
You not only cost me my biggest client...
but I can't even imagine what they're gonna say about me in the Post.
- Braden. - That's me.
- You made bail. - Oh, God, thank you.
- Thank you. - Peggy, I'm sorry.
Oh, and in case you haven't guessed...
you're fired.
- This way, ma'am.
- Is this your floor too? - What did you say?
All right. That's enough.
- Hey, guys. - Car ready, Tiff?
You know, they're just- They're...
- a little nervous. - Mm, go with 'em.
Jake? Jake?
- I'm sorry if that wasn't exactly what you're look- - What do you like about 'em?
They have a fresh take on retro, like early Beatles meets Blink 182.
I'm surprised you don't talk about record sales and demographics.
Well, it's funny you should say that, actually.
I think a band that's good will sell itself.
- An idealist and a purist. I like that. - Yeah.
I used to be like that once, but then I decided to become filthy rich.
Uh, okay, well, thanks- thanks for the opportunity.
Look, kid, I believe in luck.
So I'm gonna send it out to a couple radio stations, see how it plays.
Meanwhile, you guys work on a follow-up, okay? You got two weeks.
- So, you're signing the band?
I spent eight minutes with you. Why would I waste that time if I wasn't signing the band?
Tiffany, call accounting and cut them an advance check and put them up in a penthouse.
- Okay. - Now it's been nine minutes. Let's go.
All right. Bye.
Thanks. Thank you!
Congratulations.
Thanks.
Oh! Oh, my God!
Home.
Good morning.
Oh.
Do I need a bubble bath.
Hey. Whoa. Isn't that my-
We've gone through pretty much everything. It's all rated PG-1.
- That's right. We're gonna have to clear it all out. - What? Oh, my goodness.
- This your apartment? - Yes. Um, what happened?
- Flood. - Flood?
Yeah, it's a, uh, technical term for a lot of water where it shouldn't be.
It's no big deal though. We'll take care of it.
- Oh, thank you. Do you mind if I go in and change now? - Hey, hey, fellas!
She wants to come in and change her clothes.
I don't get it. Why are you laughing?
Sweetheart, we got a grade-four mold infestation.
- You're lucky we found it. - Lucky. Yeah.
Oh!
- Move it out! - Easy!
- Do you have my furniture? - Don't worry about that.
- Oh. - We'll burn it before it can contaminate anyone else.
We did manage to save these.
- This is it? - That's it.
Check with the I.C. We're gonna need another hose.
We're on it already. We're gonna do a reverse hose lay.
Hey, you. Are you okay?
- This is my new apartment? - I know. It's pretty amazing.
Home theater, satellite TV.
And at night, with the lights down low...
let's just say this place is pretty mind-blowing.
Uh, yeah, it's pre- it's pretty mind- you know, in broad daylight.
Well, the band is down the hall. The bar and the fridge are fully stocked.
Oh, and just so you know, D.M.R. Is a really nice place to work.
You know, like at some companies they don't allow employees to date each other?
Here they do.
Date?
That'd be great! I'm free all weekend.
Hey, you don't mind if the girl pays, do ya?
Some guys have this weird hang-up.
Ooh, gotta split. I'm late for my erotic massage class.
Catch you later, Spider-Man.
Erotic massage.
Guys, thank you for letting me stay here. Not only don't I have money...
but the dragon lady's blackballed me from every firm in the city.
- Well, why don't you phone your parents? - And admit defeat? No way.
- Yeah. - So, where should I sleep?
- In your room. - My room?
Mm-hmm. See, Maggie's room is right here above the kitchen.
Thanks. And Dana's is a Jennifer Convertible.
Yeah, so your options are the La-Z-Boy.
- Mm. - Soft and sturdy.
And my personal favorite, the fabulous futon.
- Hmm? - Perfect.
Well, I'll keep out of your way, and you guys won't even know I'm here.
- Blow-dryer? - Oh, yeah. On top of the radiator.
Thanks.
I never noticed. Is your cat all black?
- Yeah. Why? - Just curious.
Well, this is nice. We'll have fun.
Everything's gonna be- Oh, my God!
- What? - I have a zit.
I have a zit! Girls, I have a zit!
Ash, are you okay in there?
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, wow!
- Ashley! - Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ash!
- Okay, who's the idiot? - Nice work!
Ash? Are you okay, Ash? Hold tight. Hold on. Sweetie?
I broke a mirror. I broke a mirror. I know.
- Ah. - I mean, guys, what is going on with me?
You know, I can't take seven more years of this.
Ever since this masquerade bash, it's like I'm the anti-Midas...
and everything I touch turns to crap.
Okay, Ashley, calm down, all right?
For some reason, the fates have dealt you a lousy hand.
But the wheel always spins back.
Right?
You're fired.
Oh, my God. I need to borrow some clothes.
Hello! Open up!
- Hello! - Yoo-hoo.
- Yes? - You have ruined my life!
What? Ugh, it's you.
Everything in my life was perfect until you came around.
Wait a minute. Was it really perfect?
- You know what? Don't you psychoanalyze me! - Whoa.
Okay, just work your voodoo magic and give me my luck back.
Fine. Concentrate.
Gosh.
All right? It's back. Now, please, go home.
- I got an early day tomorrow. - No, no.
Do not patronize me, okay? You and your cards screwed everything up!
Now you have to fix it.
I tried to warn you, sweetheart.
Look, did anything unusual happen at that party?
Well, besides the fact that I tore my dress...
nearly choked to death and the felony charges, no.
Yikes. How about before that?
Well, I mean, I kissed a cute guy, but that's hardly unusual.
Wait a second. You said that I could lose it to someone else, right?
So does that mean that he took my luck from me?
Maybe he needed it more than you.
So he stole it? That little whack-kissing bandit!
No, that is just my luck, okay?
And you're gonna help me and tell me how to get it back.
Me?
Well, let's see. Uh-
If he took it from you with a kiss...
then it stands to reason-
What?
So wait. We're talking 20 professional dancers?
One of these guys' lips are the key to getting my life back, guys.
- I don't believe it. - Whoa!
- Hey, get off the sidewalk! - Take it eas'!
- What am I, a target? - See, it's ridiculous, right?
You can't get your luck back by kissing a guy.
I don't believe how hot these guys are.
Oh, great! Now you're encouraging her?
Oh, no. I'm just here to observe and mock.
Guys, I'm just trying to get my life the way it was again.
Okay, how are you even gonna know if you kissed the right guy?
Oh, I've got a foolproof test.
Oh! Hey, hey, that's him!
Oh, yeah.
All right!
Oh, my God! It's definitely him.
Oh, my gosh! Ashley, he's married!
Ashley!
Michael!
- I suppose that's your sister? - No, no, muffin, muffin!
Tomato. Sorry.
You ruined my wedding!
Ooh, yeah.
Okay, push, push, push!
- Excuse me. This'll just be a minute. - Come on.
Sorry.
Here. Here.
Thanks anyway. It's all right.
- Oh, Dana? - Hmm? What?
Thank you so much. Feel better.
Please, please, please, please.
Why?
Hi. I'm Dave.
Hey, Lance. Can you hear me?
Hi. How are you?
Um, okay, here goes.
Oh! Ow!
Girls.
He bit my tongue.
Here.
Oh, come on. Oh.
Ooh! We still have one left.
- Tom Guthrie. - Spit out the ice, Ash.
- Mm. - Tom Guthrie.
We've looked for him at, like, three different addresses already.
Yeah. You know, you're right.
I'm like the rest of the rabbit after they cut off its lucky foot.
- I should just give up. - Come on, Ash. It's not that bad.
Yeah, so you've kissed a dozen bacteria-ridden strangers.
- You know, you still got your friends. - Oh, thanks.
But it's probably best that we no longer touch.
But I love you.
Oh, you love me? I'm gonna get you.
I'm gonna kiss you.
Pancakes!
Hi, kitty.
Hey, Ash. It's me, David.
Uh, big art opening tonight at Station "A" Gallery.
- David Pennington! - Meet you there at 7:00? Don't break my heart.
David Pennington. Another date.
- I'm not going. - Why not? It's a chance with a great guy.
No. It's a chance to get hit by a bus. Maggie...
your black cat is crossing my path.
Not good.
Come on, Pancakes. Don't be scared of the superstitious, mean lady.
I'm not superstitious, but it's true. I mean, it's bad luck.
Dane, how's my scope?
Leo. Leo.
- "Your moon is in Uranus." - Ooh.
Doesn't sound pretty.
He could have canceled. Isn't that proof enough...
that this whole bad luck thing is totally bogus?
I don't think so.
Ashley, unlucky girls...
don't get asked out by one of Us Weekly's most eligible bachelors.